The Time Has Come… Sayumin’s Graduation Announced

I know I’m very late with this, but it’s been a tiring week for me. I wanted to take my time and gather my thoughts properly, but it appears that it’s not any easier today. Unless you came to my blog by accident, you must have heard the news. Sayumi Michishige is to graduate from Morning Musume and Hello! Project come the autumn tour 2014.

My number one idol of all time is graduating.

sayu clock

My feelings are completely different from anything I have ever experienced before. It’s not just any graduation, it’s not just an idol I like, it’s Sayumin.

How should I describe my initial reaction? A shock that I had been expecting, a shock that I was well prepared for. Does that sound weird? I had just come into work, and I lost my ability to work for a while after reading the announcement. If I had been at home, I might have cried. And indeed, I did cry a little in the evening. Why did I cry? That’s how the group works, so it’s not like I’m complaining. It just feels… lonely. Sudden. Why sudden? I mean it’s much later than I expected. Ever since discovering the group in early 2007, I’ve been watching the girls graduate one after another. Koharu, Eririn, Junjun, Linlin, Aichan, Risa, Aika, Reina… and finally, after so many years, Sayumin. The time has come now, and it is sudden. As odd as it might sound, I feel sort of relieved now. Can you understand that? I’m relieved that it’s no longer any day now. The inevitable has happened. As you can see, I’m still a little confused. I’m confused and I feel like crying again, and at the same time, I’m incredibly happy be witnessing this beautiful journey to come to its end.

009

I’ve always been a proud Sayu fan, even at times when I had to defend my right to love her. Don’t you think she’s mean? or You’re probably a guy then?… I heard these questions… no, statements, so many times I lost count. That’s exactly why I started this blog in the first place, I felt the need to put my love for Sayu into words and make it longer than 140 characters. I love literally everything about Sayu and I always have, I’m not exaggerating one bit. You can read my first post by clicking the SAYUMI MICHISHIGE tab at the top of this page, my reasons to love Sayumin haven’t changed, although they might have increased in number. The group has changed quite a bit since 2010. These days though, most Hello! Project fans do seem to respect Sayu and look up to her. If nothing else, they say she’s beautiful or a good leader who always tries her best. That makes me very happy.

I’ve been a proud fan, but not I’m not proud of myself as a fan. I feel insufficient now as well, because no words of mine can do justice to Sayu. I can’t imagine another fan admiring Sayu more than I do, you’d literally faint if you did, but I still don’t dare to call myself a wota. I regret to say, I haven’t done much for her or for other fans. To be honest, I’m even afraid to have direct contact with Sayu, in fear of messing it up and regretting it for the rest of my life. But I have felt so much. Not one day goes by without me thinking about her. I listen to her sing and I watch her perform. I read her blog and I listen to her radio show. I look at her pictures and I watch her on every screen I own. And the reason is very simple.

Just the thought of Sayumi Michishige makes me happy. That’s why I’m smiling today too. :)

sayu bunny mirror

I’m smiling, but when I think of Sayu’s graduation day, I see tears rolling down the cheeks of her kouhais and fans. I won’t lie, it will hurt to see Morning Musume without Sayu. It will be diffcult and painful, and C-ute will probably become my favourite group instead. But just like Sayu herself, I have faith in Fukuchan, Eripon, Rihoriho, Zukki, Harunan, Daaishi, Maachan, Duu and Sakura-chan. They are a brilliant mix of girls whose personalities and skills complement each other perfectly. They are talented, hard-working, hilarious and adorable. I love the group now just as much as I did last decade, if not more. There won’t be anyone who can replace Sayu for me, but there’s absolutely no reason for me to resign as a Morning Musume fan.

There’s still time to enjoy Morning Musume ’14 with Sayu as the leader, but even after the graduation, the songs and the videos and the pictures won’t disappear anywhere! I will always have something to return to, even from the first four years that I missed. And there are things to look forward to!

sayu chance

More so than crying, I feel like congratulating Sayu from the bottom of my heart. I want to thank her for bringing so much joy to my life. Such cute and passionate joy.

 

4 thoughts on “The Time Has Come… Sayumin’s Graduation Announced

  1. Pingback: Recommended Jpop♀ Reading: May 3, 2014 | Idolminded

  2. I think I share your sentiments exactly.

    I do feel a little relieved now that I don’t have to keep watching the calendar, monitoring the live reports on 2ch of every concert waiting for the other shoe to drop since she become leader.

    I hate this cold feeling on my fingertips and spine everytime I looked back at old shows and remembered just how much she meant to me but I’ll keep doing that because she’s worth it.
    In the same way I hate how I have to fight to hold back the tears when anticipating the rest of her activities in her time left as an MM member and thinking that it will soon end but I will still do it because I want to treasure this precious time.

    I’m also not much of a very contributing fan even though I’ve been one almost as long as Sayu has been in MM…but this time, for Sayu
    I’ll move heaven and earth to be there and watch the final day the greatest Idol ever would grace the stage… T____T

    I’ll save the goodbyes and thank yous for there.

    MM would also be fine, Sayu said that part of what made the decision easier is because of how reliable her kouhai has become and I trust her, with her always being such a thoughtful and attentive Leader to her kouhai, she would definitely know the best.
    Personally I already like of the the other members to begin with so I’ll keep supporting MM… but no one will ever have a chance to replace Sayu. No one.
    And if there’s a venue to keep supporting her after her graduation I would definitely still do so. If not, more than anything else, I wish her to have the happiest. most beautiful, most fruitful life in her future.

    • Thank you for your beautiful comment! It does seem that you share my sentiments, and I share yours as well. I’m sure we can keep on supporting Sayu even after her graduation. Even if there will be no events or anything, we can still support her in our hearts. But I’m quite sure that Sayu won’t disappear anywhere.

  3. Pingback: Thank You, Sayumin (Thoughts After Graduation) | Hanakotoba!

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